Lessons in Love and Lust.

As women, we usually learn about sex and relationships in one of two ways. We are taught to be ashamed or we figure things out on our own. In both of these scenarios, I feel like important information is missing.

When finding your independence it’s really easy to end up in situations that have you asking “how did I get here?” I can say I’ve had my share of experiences with men that ended like that. Not all bad, most what I wanted in that moment but after the fact left me questioning myself and my choices.

Without going into detail I will say this, You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. I know that seems simple enough but I’ve spoken to so many women who told me they felt like they were obligated to sleep with someone. I don’t care if he took you to dinner or you decided to go to his house late at night:

You don’t have to give your body to someone you have no desire to be intimate with. Plain and simple.

And to my girls who have been there, I want you to know that I’m with you. You’ll spend some time questioning why you did it and if you have a right to feel violated but you have a right to feel any emotion you have.

This same mindset goes for my girls who are holding on to men that aren’t valuing them. Let him go.

I truly believe that when you continue to entertain someone that isn’t what you want in a partner you block your blessings. I’d rather be alone than accept anything less than the love I desire.

I’ve learned that you have to give yourself time to grow and heal and understand what you did not like in past relationships.  This way when the next person comes along you are able to be open and honest about what you want and what you need. And if that person listens and works with you to maintain a healthy relationship then you have a keeper.

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